Auditing JapaneseSelf-Reflection

First Time Ever: Lessons Learned

Okay, so, Chapter 3 has ended. We just had the test today. There have been two things that happened for the first time. First, last Thursday, for the first time ever, Sensei A was late.

As usual, I had never arrived too early in the class. I would usually arrive 5 minutes or less before 9 or even sharp at 9. That day I was really in a hurry. One of my Indonesian friends stayed at my place that night and so that morning I had to wait for her to get ready, too. Not a good idea. Haha I mean, I was always mindful of my time. Like, everything had been estimated and calculated, to avoid my coming late to the class, to avoid my coming too early to the class. That morning, at 8.40 I had been ready but my friend wasn’t. I was okay. I thought I could wait 5 more minutes, leave at 8.45 and walk faster; sometimes I did that too and I wasn’t late. So at 8.45 my friend and I were ready to leave my apartment. I told her that I was in a hurry. I told her that if she wanted to go straight to her house, taking Park Avenue would be faster for her. But she said she wanted to go by campus first so, ok, she was going with me. The thing was, I didn’t want to be late. It means I had to walk super fast, but at the same time I couldn’t just leave her; i.e. somehow I should keep my pace similar to hers. Thankfully, she could walk fast too. She didn’t walk that slowly (though if walking alone, I’m sure I could’ve walked faster 😀 ) But anyway, then we parted ways; she went onto different direction, and I kept going to my class. I walked super duper fast, much more quickly than usual (I’m sure I can be an athlete later. LoL).

My homework. I lost my focus, I guess. I did this much earlier before it was due and didn’t look back. It’s getting hectic with my other courses so I tried to finish all homework for Japanese the previous week so I didn’t have to worry about them later and focus on my other courses. Sigh, I wasn’t careful enough. I should’ve double-checked it. But it’s ok; it’s not that bad 🙂

Then I arrived in my class, probably at 8.59am. I wasn’t late :p But it was kinda weird. That day was Sensei A’s schedule to teach, but she wasn’t there. Usually she came early, much earlier, even before I came to the class. So I thought it was strange that she hadn’t been there yet. Then it was 9 o’clock. She hadn’t come. I talked to my partner and the girl behind him, just to make sure. I asked, “We have a class today, right?” (Btw, I said it in Japanese, ehem, to demonstrate my skill of course :p ) But I guess my partner wasn’t in Japanese mode yet. Haha So he asked what I said. I repeated, “There’s a class today, right? We have a Japanese class today, no?” And he said, “I guess so.”. Then I asked again, “There was no email saying that the class is cancelled, or that she’ll be late, right?” I just want to make sure, because if a class in cancelled or if the professor is going to be late, they will usually either update the news in the d2l (that’s our module site, something like blackboard) or email us. I was just worried that, perhaps, I wasn’t cc-ed in the email because I wasn’t in the class list since I was only auditing the class. (Later I remembered that I had been in the list all along). And they said no; i.e. there was no such email. So I said, “It’s weird. And Japanese is so strict about time.” And my partner said, “That’s true.” Honestly, he’s so cute and funny. Sometimes I just want to laugh when talking to him 😀 I always pray that these kinds of people will have a bright future 🙂 For a simple reason: I think they can make the world brighter with their friendliness 🙂

Anyway, it was 9.03 and Sensei A finally came. She seemed in a hurry and out of breath 😀 (I shouldn’t grin, but I tend to find it amusing when a strict and punctual person is late.) But okay, it proves one thing: nobody is perfect. She’s also human. I know she’s tried to be on time 🙂

And, today (I wrote this on Friday). I wasn’t supposed to be late. Don’t ask me why, but somehow I couldn’t leave my place earlier than 8.45. So 15 minutes was all I’ve got to get to my class. I could make it the day before but I don’t know why it felt so hard this morning. I was in a hurry. I walked so fast, probably half running. I’m sure if I had walked any faster I would fly. LoL I rushed to my class. Then, I opened the door and was confused. The students were not my classmates. The seat arrangement was not how it usually was. Well, maybe the previous class hadn’t ended yet though it was unusual. Thus, I stood there dumbfounded like a stupid person, still with the door half-open, processing all of that before I finally realized that it was not my class. Shoot! It had never happened before. But I had no time to be embarrassed or such. I just said sorry and quickly closed the door behind me. But I couldn’t accept that. I was pretty sure I opened the right door. I did my usual routine whenever I arrived in the building: going up the stairs, turning right, drinking from the tap water and catching my breath, then the door to my class was on my right, the second door after the tap water. So I couldn’t be wrong. But I was. After I closed the door, I looked at the number on the wall outside the room. It was 403. Stupid. My class is room 503. Apparently, I needed to go up one more stair. How come? LoL

But okay, I just couldn’t leave it there. I needed to think how I made that stupid mistake. (Read: let me make my excuses, which I was usually good at). The only root cause that I can think of was because I was in a real hurry, plus I had the chapter test. I didn’t want to be late and at the same time I thought of what I have studied for the test so apparently it made me lose focus; my brain wasn’t synchronized with my body. I would love to say that maybe it was also because I wasn’t wearing my glasses. (I usually take off my glasses and keep them in the case in my bag and just put them on in the class or when I need to write on PC or read the journals on my iPad. The reasons: 1. I don’t really like wearing glasses. 2. I think I should train my ocular muscles so that it won’t get worse when seeing far objects. Haha This is my own theory. Maybe I’m causing more damage to my eyes instead. *sigh I really love my eyes T_T How else can I see the beauty of this world without my eyes? T_T)

But, anyway, apparently, I didn’t look at the room number before opening the door. I usually looked at the number before opening the door just to make sure that I would go to the right classroom. Today I completely forgot. Stupid me.

So I rushed to the fifth floor and went to my seat. Everybody had been there including Sensei B (it was Friday, her schedule to teach). It was either 9.00 or 9.01, I don’t know, but I didn’t care anymore. I immediately submitted the homework for that day, and went back to my seat. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the test, but, well, I had to be ready no matter what. I caught my breath and calmed myself down. I did the test. There were listening, grammar, reading and writing. The sheets were given three times in turn. The first sheet was for listening and grammar. When the students were done, they raised their hand and Sensei B would come to collect their answer sheet and give them the reading sheet, and the same with writing sheet. Not sure if I have explained this, but it was kinda smart. You cannot cheat from the first two sheets for your writing. Haha

But you know what, I had no problem with my grammar, reading, n writing I guess. My problem was always listening. So there is this question asking about an event happening in the night. The audio was played 3 times. I thought I heard it but I just couldn’t figure out what word it was. Thus, I just did what students usually do: write down whatever word I know. Who knows it’s the right answer, right? Haha I know, students love to gamble like that during the test. I do, too 😀 (Because I can :p )

Lessons learned: give yourself more time to relax in the class on the day you have the test. Don’t come (too) late. Well, actually, even if it’s not a test and just a regular class, it’s always better to come early so you have time to relax before the class starts. Having more time might also help you focus so that you won’t go the wrong classroom. LoL (I’ve known all of these. Still, sometimes it’s inevitable. Still, try to reduce or minimize this inevitability 🙂 )

PS: I’m happy with the fact that I am not so mad at myself because of this. I think somehow it’s more peaceful that way. Back then I would get so mad and blame myself. The feeling is not nice. Now I find it easier to forgive myself, well, because, I know I could do nothing to change what has happened. But I can always learn my lesson so that it won’t happen again next time, or that I can try to be better next time. Well, I know I’ve tried my bests 😊 Thus, don’t get so mad at yourself, but keep doing your best to improve and be a better version of yourself. Best of luck! 😊

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