IntroductionSelf-Reflection

Fame: It’s scary.

This is me in front of a tomb at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. (Jan 27, 2018)

When I was starting this blog, I told my friend that I was worried and scared that I’d be famous. He laughed. He thought I was joking and just being conceited. But I was serious, deadly serious. Let me tell you why.

The reason I started this blog is because my friends have been noticing me writing (too) long captions on Instagram. They say that it’s better for me to write them in a blog. Then a friend said that her husband could help me to create such a website or blog for me, and so I agreed. I mean, all I need to do is just write and write, right?

Then I don’t know why, it just dawned on me. What if many people read my blogs and I got popular or famous? Gosh, it’s scary. I mean, I love it when I write something and people love it. I love it when people feel motivated, inspired, or can learn something from my writings. But, again, I might not always write what they like; and this is what frightens me. I cannot please anyone, but I can’t really ignore people either. I don’t like disappointing people; I don’t like being a disappointment. Some of my opinions might be dumb, and I might make mistakes too every now and then; and if I am famous, people might start judging me. It’s scary.

But it’s true, right? For example, people get divorced everywhere and nobody gives a damn; but if a celebrity, or a public figure, or a famous person is getting divorced, people will talk about it as if it is their business. People get mad and yell everywhere; but if a famous person does that, people will judge him/her for not being patient enough, etc. I remember reading comments on the social media accounts of famous people and I just can’t imagine receiving such judgments. Yes, there are positive comments, too, but the negative comments are just too mean; it’s too much. It’s as if we should be perfect, we should not make a mistake. It’s like you cannot be yourself and that you must only be what people want you to be. Man, I don’t want that. I just want to be ordinary. I love the freedom of making mistakes and learning from my mistakes without being judged by people I don’t know.

So now you see why I see fame as scary? Well, because I know I’m not flawless. I understand that fame comes with power and thus responsibilities. I mean, yes, when you are famous, you should be mindful of what you say and do. That’s because we have no idea who and how many will follow our steps, be inspired by our words and actions, or on the contrary, misled and misguided by them. And while it’s true that I’m hoping to be able to affect or influence many people in a good way, I am afraid that I won’t be a good example. I just can’t bear such a responsibility.

But then, what about you? Do you think fame is scary? Or would you love to be famous yourself? O.o

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