A Japanese Drama: This is not a Business Expense

So I watched this 10-episode drama: Kore wa Keihi de Ochimasen! Someone recommended it to me after I said I liked Mikako Tabe. They said this was a good drama, and so I said I’d check it out. So I might as well check it out. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I would but didn’t do it, right? Ugh, actually I’m just using it as an excuse to procrastinate and not do my dissertation T_T I’m sorry but it’s really driving me crazy T_T

But, anyway, since we’re here, I might as well review this one. Well, if you read my reviews, perhaps by now you already know that I can’t help giving away spoilers? Like, I can’t really make a review without telling the stories, so… bear with me.

Okay, this drama is kinda romantic comedy. The story centered around the main lead, Sanako, who worked in the accounting department of a soap company. Dang, this is new. I mean, I hadn’t really watched a movie or a drama with an “accounting” background before. But, well, I said it before, but this is what I like from Japanese drama. They can really portray a story using different kinds of backgrounds focusing on problems of someone with different kinds of professions. Well, yes it’s a typical life story, but then, we can also learn what roughly happens around accounting departments in a company, no? And of course it’s not only about love, somehow it also teaches us about friendship, companionship, leadership, etc. But, well, that’s not what I want to focus on, though. I will only write about what I can feel – and relate. Yup, the love story that happens around Sanako – and Taiyo.

Well, Sanako is a “rigid” person. She does her job really well, in a kinda perfectionist way. She rarely goes out with her colleagues after work. She loves to be by herself. And she has never really been in a romantic relationship. Sounds like me there, ugh, but Sanako is really “all-out” and honest, while I’m…well, sometimes I don’t mind tolerating or making compromising or just trying to be “nice”. But Sanako isn’t like that. She really makes it clear about what she likes and doesn’t, about what is included in her job and what isn’t. She doesn’t like to do less, but she also doesn’t like doing extra work. She really is “calculative”, in a pure way. And Taiyo falls in love with her for that.

What I love about this drama is how Sanako kinda “calculates” the pluses and minuses in the relationship. (Which I can relate). She keeps thinking that it’s not fair that Taiyo is always there for her but she feels like she actually gives nothing in return. She thinks it should be like accounting where the balance should be even. Hence, seeing that Taiyo “gives” a lot, she feels like Taiyo is actually in the red with some minuses, while she herself takes too much. She wonders what she should do in return to make it even. She even asks him about what she can do to make him happy. I know some of you might argue that that’s not how love is supposed to be, like we aren’t responsible for others’ happiness, and we can’t always do things like that, as in making someone else happy ’cause we also have to think about our own happiness first, but, ugh, I might not be putting it into words really well, but I guess, perhaps it’s better for you to watch it yourself. I mean, the things that she is willing to do to make him happy are actually not something that can harm her or such, so no worries.

But I understand the way Sanako feels and thinks, ’cause I believe relationships should work both ways, takes and gives, not only taking, and not only giving. But what this drama teaches me is that, the way we weigh what we take and what we give might be different. For instance, Taiyo asks Sanako to make a lunchbox for him, and in return he wants to take her out, he will rent a car, buy tickets to the park and such. And Sanako thinks it’s not fair because making lunchbox is much cheaper than renting a car, buying tickets, etc. It would only put Taiyo “in the red” or at a disadvantage (financially). However, what Sanako didn’t realize was that Taiyo feels happy only with the fact that Sanako is there with him. He is simply blissful if Sanako will go on a date with him, and this happiness cannot be measured with “money.” Gosh, I really hope I can find someone like Taiyo…

Anyway, why I love Taiyo? He is persistent. Sanako seemed scared of love at the beginning. Not scared per se perhaps, not hating either. Perhaps, it’s more like, she didn’t feel like she needed it. She felt fine on her own. Her life was in order, so Taiyo’s love was kinda a bother to her ’cause it disrupted that normality. But Taiyo is persistent. Not in a forceful or abusive way, but in a cute and sweet way. And somehow Sanako was touched by that and finally returned his feelings, which I love. It really makes me happy. I love happy endings after all.

And I really love Taiyo. I imagine myself like Sanako. When someone “approaches” me and I don’t like him, I think I won’t give him a chance to advance. But, unlike Sanako who refused to go out with him at the beginning, I guess I’d just go out with him but makes sure to let him know that it means nothing. And then, Taiyo persisted in showing his affection to her. And I think it’s lovely. Though if it happens to me in real life, I think I’ll find it annoying. And perhaps I’ll get really mad and end up telling him off. And he’ll stop liking me, he’ll end up hating me. I guess that’s what will happen. Perhaps this is why I’ll forever be single? Like, I want them to be persistent, but if they are persistent, I’ll find it annoying, so I guess I’m making it complicated for myself…

I have my reasons, though. I want to be chased not because I’m playing hard to get. I guess I just feel “insecure” (I just want to be sure), like, I’ll find it hard to believe that someone really wants me, is genuinely in love with me, or will be truly happy with me. Can he really accept me-and my family? With my background? With my clumsiness? With my super-cannot take jokes-serious attitude? Can he really stand all of that? Even if he can, how long will he be able to put up with it without hurting me and himself? I guess I’m kinda scared of the possibility of someone who starts by loving me but ends up hating me… I often feel like, they will hate me if they see and know the true me. I don’t know who or how the true me is either. (I don’t think I’ve been pretending anyway, but there’s always that voice who tells me that no one really knows or understands me…) But, maybe that’s why I often sound so harsh, ’cause I think it will be easier to deal with the harsh me and then accept a nicer part of me later. Perhaps it’s better than showing them my nice sides only for them to finally see my evil sides later. I don’t know. But I’m glad that Taiyo is persistent and Sanako finally accepts and trusts him. I really wish someone can convince me the way he convinced Sanako. I wish I could finally trust someone the way Sanako trusts Taiyo. And perhaps, I wish someone can trust me the way Taiyo trusts in Sanako, and believes in himself the way Taiyo is confident with himself.

But, oh, Sanako is good at cooking, though, and you know how I feel about cooking. I’m simply not good at it. And even though I can actually cook simple dishes, I don’t actually like it. Well, sure if I find the man of my life someday, I might learn to cook his favorite dish. But I can’t really imagine it. I can’t guarantee. Maybe I’m too lazy for that because I just think it’s not worth it, like, why cook complicated stuff if you only need to eat and take nutrition enough to make you healthy, right? And once in a while we can go out too. So perhaps that’s what makes me feel “unworthy” myself. I’m not willing to make such efforts, while if I’m in really in love, I believe I should not mind doing such things. So perhaps, I’m not capable of love? I want to receive a lot. But then if I am in the receiving end only, and do not give enough, I think it’s not fair. Argh, it’s complicated. I make it complicated. But people say that if it’s the one destined for you, things won’t be so complicated. In fact, things will look so easy. So, I don’t know. Maybe just wait and see? Waiting for someone who will be sincerely happy enough with me despite how I am? But till when? Till I die? I don’t know, but let’s just enjoy this life as best as we can 😉

PS: I know it’s fictional but it really makes me happy to see love story like the one Taiyo and Sanako had. I’m happy that it happens to someone else, because, like I said before, honestly, I’m not sure if it will ever happen to me…

PPS: I say that maybe I’m simply not willing to make such efforts for love, but at least I’m not complaining about it, right? At least I’m not whining about being single. I’m on my own, but I’m okay with it. If love happens later, well, maybe better talk about it when it does happen later. If it does happen…

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