Hello, it’s been a while!^^
Somehow I got busier. LoL I started a new job too so things got more hectic. But here I am as promised. I said I wanted to share about this in the previous post, right? It’s about my gardening hobby/activity.
Okay, first of all, gardening has been my dream since long time ago. The more detailed dream was actually to get married, live a happy live with my small family in a small or not too big house around which I can grow my own veggies and flowers. Beautiful house and home in my imagination, but here I am, still single. LoL But anyway, I can’t waste time waiting for my Mr. Right just to start gardening, right? That would be too long and uncertain, and u know I’m not really a fan of uncertainty.
Well, I’d be honest. In the beginning, I kinda started it on a whim. I was just trying to find something to do, and somehow gardening crossed my mind. I bought some seeds online-impulsively. Then the things I bought just increased gradually. LoL I bought not only the seeds but some of the gardening equipment too. I surely had money to “waste,” huh? But it’s not a waste, though. Just like time, if we enjoy “wasting” it, it’s not a waste, right? And it’s not, ’cause not only does it make me happy, the seeds actually grew, you see? And somehow, it’s amazing to witness the tiny seeds turning into another form of life.
I mean, actually I had this belief that I did not have a green thumb. I thought Mom was the one who had the green thumb. Everything she planted would grow and survive, but when I was the one doing it, the plants would die. LoL But I was really excited when I grew the seeds by myself. I prepared the soil, I watered them, I moved them into polybags, etc. It’s so satisfying and exhilarating. So I thought that maybe I also had it in me 🙈🥰
But for a beginner like me, gardening can be quite a challenge. First issue: support. Mom might be the only one being supportive of this activity of mine. She sorta let me do whatever I wanted and when I told her about my gardening plan, she joined the excitement. I mean, we had this space behind our house. Our backyard was kinda not well-cared for, Mom tried to plant some veggies but she didn’t really take care of it and sort of neglected it due to her other activities, so it was not so organized and some of the plants ended up dying. Thus, I was hoping that I could care for it and make use of it better by gardening.
Now, why “support” is an issue? Because gardening seems like a luxurious hobby. To people like my grandma, uncles, Dad, etc., it’s so weird to do things like gardening, especially if it doesn’t generate money. They’re like, “Why are you so invested in this? Do you have nothing better to do?” Should I tell them I was “jobless”? LoL But I mean, for example, my grandma would come to our house and see me mixing the soil with the organic fertilizer to grow the sprouts, and she’d ask, “Why’re you still always doing this?” Eugh, it’s so discouraging. My Mom is amazing as always, though. She tried to make my gardening look like an assignment or something, so when my grandma or my uncle asked, she would say, “It’s for a project so she has to report how the growth is.” 🤣🤣🤣 Isn’t my Mom amazing? She’s not just my hero, she’s my lifesaver!
But, well, some of you might find it weird that we have to lie like that, but to be honest, I’m not really blaming my grandma or my uncle for wanting a better reason for my gardening activity. I totally understand them. We’re not so rich, so any activity that doesn’t result in money would be considered either a waste or a luxury, something that we cannot afford. But, well, I really want to do this. When my plants grow and bear fruits later, I’m hoping to be able to share the produce with my relatives and close neighbors. Well, I can’t give them money, for sure. I don’t have lots of money. I don’t want them to think I’m rich either🤪 And I don’t want them to rely on me for money 🤗 But I’ve been thinking; if I can share some veggies that I grow so that they don’t have to buy it; I hope that can help them and make them happy. Do you think I’m being too naive?
But like I said, gardening for a beginner like me is not without issues. Aside from support, the challenges actually came from the gardening activities itself. Sometimes some seeds simply didn’t grow. Sometimes some of them were taken or eaten by mice/rats (oh, I am not really sure where they came from or hide, but we live near ricefields, so it’s kinda expected). Then, after some seeds did grow, sometimes they just died because, perhaps, I watered them too much. The other day, I also tried to gave them some NPK/grower fertilizer to boost their growth and make them healthy. I’ve read that I couldn’t give too much fertilizers, so I thought I’d give them very little. Alas, the next morning some of them withered. It looks like “the very little” in my mind was still too much for them. But, well, I’m still learning, so my gardening activity becomes sort of an experiment for me. After all, we learn by doing, right? So I try to pay attention to what I might have done wrong so that in the future I could avoid doing so. And it’s a good thing that I’m not actually doing this for money, otherwise perhaps I’d be more frustrated.
Then, another issue: Some neighbor’s chicken basically stormed to my garden and ruined my plants. I was annoyed at the beginning, and I found it annoying when people told me to not be upset because I should have put more precautions for such things. It’s like when you got harrassed and told it’s your fault for not covering up, enough. Maybe not apple to apple, but I wanted to be validated. I know I should’ve put on some net to bar the chicken off, which I finally did, and which cost me extra money. But when I was ranting about it, I just wanted to let out my frustration. It’s not as if I seriously wanted to poison the chicken for barging in and breaking my plants, no.
And, my cat🥺 I’m actually sad right now. My cat died yesterday. I am continuing this draft and posting this to distract myself because everything reminds me of him, and every time I remember him, I can’t help crying. The tears just won’t stop, and not everyone can seem to understand this agony of mine. “It’s just a cat.” Yes, but I love him so much. He’d usually follow me around and stay by my side when I was gardening, i.e. planting seeds, watering the yard, moving the sprouts from the polybags into the cultivated land, etc. I miss him🥺 My plants haven’t borne any fruits yet but he’s no longer there to witness it, I’m so sad…🥺
But, well, wish me luck.