Love: What should we decide?

The Japanese movie that I’ll review today is Poison Berry in My Mind. I watched it because I love Kamiki Ryunosuke. Oh my, I really love this guy. He’s amazing at voice acting so initially I didn’t really have any expectation about his acting in a movie or a drama. I just love him. That’s all. But after I watched Too Young to Die (read about it here), I kinda want to see him more, like in more movies 😊 So I kinda looked up for his movies, and I watched ones where he became the main lead, for which I can see him more or longer ^^ Pardon my fangirling eyes, but hey, it turns out that he’s great at acting too. Well, I might be biased, I know. But I really love him. He’s got this charm that makes me feel warm. He’s not that handsome handsome, but he looks really nice and calm. Like, he’s not trying to be cool, but he’s really cool. And nice. I mean, some people look cool but arrogant. Kamiki Ryunosuke is not. And I really love his smiles 😊 I know I say that I love Iwata Takanori’s smiles before (here!), but it’s different kind of feeling. Like, when I see Takanori’s, it’s more like, “OMG, this guy looks so good, hot, and sweet!” but with Ryunosuke’s, it’s more like a feeling of content. You know, the kind that makes you think that life is enough and that’s alright 😊 I love people who looks content with their life but still have some sparks to pursue more in life. It’s not a spark of ambition but like a spark of love for the life they have. I don’t know if that’s because he was once diagnosed with a life-threatening disease when he was a baby. Or perhaps because I’m writing this at the time where my love for him reaches the peak, I don’t know. Haha But, well, I shouldn’t have compared. Sorry. 🙏🙇‍♀️

This is actually a comedy, but, still, it gives us a lesson. It portrays how we often have these kinds of argument in our head before finally saying, doing, or deciding on something. It’s really interesting. However, normally we’re only presented with two voices, right? Angel and Devil. Good and bad sides. In this movie, though, we’re presented with more “actors” in our head. There are five characters: the optimist, the pessimist, the childish but loving, the memory-recorder, and the spokesperson. It’s really intriguing-and funny. Can you imagine the voices in your head are visualized as different people and arguing with one another? That’s how the story and the comedy are presented in this movie.

So why do I think it’s great? Well, we’re always faced with this situation where we have to choose and make a decision, right? It’s not always about the “big” thing. It also happens for a small thing. Like for instance, now you might think: should I continue reading this post? Should I just skim and scan? Should I just skip it and read later? Etc. Or as simple as choosing between chocolate ice cream, strawberry, or vanilla. We always choose and make a decision about it. Some things are easier to decide but others are harder to decide. Sometimes it’s easy, another time it becomes hard. Etc. We have our considerations. We weigh the positives and negatives. We think about the possible consequences, results, or expectations. Sometimes we wonder, what will happen if I do that instead of this? But, well, we can only make predictions based on the knowledge-and the memory we have. And that’s exactly what is portrayed in this movie.

But how can it be so complicated? Well, because it’s a romantic comedy! What else can be made very complicated other than love? So why is the love story complicated? Well, the girl (the very main character whose 5 voices are brought to life in this movie) fell in love with a guy (let’s call him Guy A). But perhaps she has an insecurity issue. Like, she’s (the 5voices are) debating about what to do with her feelings about the guy and to the guy. Like, she also has this fear that maybe she’ll look stupid if she confesses first, and she doesn’t want him to think that she’s cheap, etc. You know, I think it’s kinda relatable even to a guy. We do think about these kinds of things when we’re serious, don’t we? Or, is it just me? O.o

But, well, at the same time there’s this good guy (let’s call him Guy B) who loves her. Logically, she might be better off with Guy B. But, well, Selena Gomez says: The heart wants what it wants 😐 The guy that the girl loved was Guy A, so she decided to be with him 😐 In the process, she kinda “ghosted” Guy B. You know, that situation where you’re not sure with Guy A and then there’s this guy B, so maybe I can give him a chance and a try? But, still, she stuck with Guy A. Damn, heart! 😐

What can we learn from this anyway? Well, the girl was actually unhappy when she’s with Guy A. She’s not “being herself”. She had to hold back too many things because she didn’t want to hurt him and she wanted to save their relationship with him. She even lost her “optimistic” cheerful side/character. The problem was, this didn’t seem mutual, i.e. the guy didn’t seem to care as much for the girl. I mean, yes sometimes we cannot be selfish in love and sometimes we need to be selfless in love. But what I believe is that, in a relationship, the two parties should be happy. It’s not going to be happy all the time. And it doesn’t always have to be at the same time. Sometimes one should give in to make the other happy, sometimes it’s vice versa. But it can’t be only one person giving in, fighting, trying to understand, and suffering. It should be both ways. Like, let’s say X n Y are in a relationship. X loves seafood, Y loves meat. At one time, they can go to a seafood restaurant, meaning that Y gives up on meat for X’s happiness. At another time they can go to eat beef steak, meaning that X gives up on seafood for Y’s happiness. Or they can go to a place that has both. The point is, it’s not fair if only X always gets to eat seafood while Y doesn’t get to eat the meat he loves, or vice versa. Am I being clear? Sorry, sometimes my analogy sucks. Sigh.

But, well, what lesson is it anyway? Well, in that situation, the 4 remaining characters (the optimistic character went into slumber, right? A part that the girl lost for being with Guy A), they had this debate in a critical situation where the girl n Guy A were having another conflict. Guy A went wild and became abusive actually 😐 The girl cried, and the 4 characters were contemplating whether they should apologize to stop him and to save the relationship. The “self” was actually portrayed as crumbling, so they were kinda debating to stop it from crumbling. They thought that maybe if they apologized, they’ll be safe. And in this very crucial moment, the optimist was awakened and came back to life. The pessimist kinda wanted to stay in the relationship because she thought that she had stayed and fought for this long and this much for Guy A. If they ended it now, everything they did would be in vain. Don’t we often have this kind of thinking? Sometimes we decide to stay in an unhappy relationship (or something else, it doesn’t have to be a relationship) because we think we’ve given everything and all for it so we think and hope that it’ll eventually get better anyway. But it doesn’t always turn out like that, does it? And this is where the optimist actually jumped in and suggested to just end the relationship and move on.

Everyone (I mean, all the five characters) finally agreed with him. And I love what the spokesperson says at the end of the movie. Let me quote it here, more or less: “You might have given a lot to this relationship. You love the guy, and that’s without a doubt. If you break up with him, it’ll be painful. But look? You’re not happy with this guy. He doesn’t seem happy either. You even lost a part of you yourself. Just break up and move on. The most important thing is not to love someone. It’s being with someone you can love and with whom you can love yourself. You have to love yourself.” And that, people, is why I put it here, (well, in addition to its being Kamiki Ryunosuke’s^^) YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF before you decide to love others. (Though sometimes loving others can help you love yourself better, but, it’s another topic ^^).