Self-motivationToday I Learn

Hatred is burdensome

Me at Saguaro National Park, Dec 30, 2017.

Hatred is burdensome. It’s hard to be happy when you hate (so many things and) so many people. When you hate someone, you just can’t see him having fun or happy. You are angry all the time. You feel like you have to ruin the fun. You feel like you have to look like you’re having more fun and happier. When they make mistakes, you triumph but are still upset with the consequences resulting from the mistakes. When they do good, you feel like you have to find some faults in it. Hence, instead of focusing on yourself, you get fixated on the person you hate. You have 24 hours a day, but you spend more time hoping and trying to ruin their life that you forget yours. You know how to make them unhappy but you forget how to make yourself happy because your happiness depends on that person’s happiness/sadness, of which you cannot control. If you hate someone, leave him alone. Don’t purposefully stalk him to see how he’s doing. Don’t purposefully leave hate comments. Because if he doesn’t notice you, you’ll be upset even more. Or, if you hate someone, try to ask yourself why, reason with yourself and see if it makes sense. I know feelings often do not make sense, you hate someone you’re not supposed to hate. You love someone you don’t want to love. But it happens. So when you hate someone, try to look from different perspectives and see if you can like him. If you can’t, again, you can leave him alone and ignore. Well, because if you hate someone, isn’t he supposed to be not worth your time? So why spend your time thinking too much about them? I mean, come on, you only have 24 hours a day. You deserve to be happy. Give yourself some peace; let go of the hatred you have. Be happy.

Me, somewhere in Montana, June 19, 2018.

I can understand people spending their time for what they like no matter how ‘useless’ it looks to others. They can like KPop, Games, Soccer/other kinds of sport, JPop, Music, Drawing, Crocheting, Anime, MakeUp, Technology, Traveling, Cooking, etc. so they spend their time searching information about it or doing just that, and maybe we can’t relate. I have a friend who’s crazy about makeup; she’ll watch makeup tutorials, try it out herself, spending hours doing all of that, and I cannot really understand that because I’m not so into makeup myself and-at least for now-I think it’s troublesome and too time-consuming. But I do understand how it feels. While I don’t like makeup myself, I also spend time on things/people I love. I spend hours browsing and reading news about Lee Dong Wook, One Piece, my favorite Japanese actors/movies, dramas, etc. It might look useless to others, why waste my time on such things? It might be irrational, but it makes me happy! We might not like the same thing but I know how it feels to like something and get obsessed and excited about it. It might look useless to others but I know it can give us joy and excitement, which others can’t give. What I don’t really understand is people spending their time for what they dislike or hate. I mean, why? Is it what you like? Getting upset over seeing and finding info about what you hate? Do you really love torturing yourself that much?

It’s horrifying for me to see netizens leaving bad comments praying for the bad things for the celebrities that they hate or they don’t even love, wishing bad things happen to them. They don’t even know them in person, they don’t know what’s really happening in those celebrities’ real life, yet they find it so easy to bash them, swear, and curse at them. Those celebrities do not even hurt or harm the netizens! I mean, if you cannot say good things, why don’t you just keep silent?

Well, I don’t mean to bring my religious view here, but in my religion, there is this teaching to say and pray good for others. It says that when we pray good for others without them knowing, there’s an angel next to us saying, “Ameen, and I hope you get it, too.” i.e. the angel will pray the same things for us. Now imagine if we pray the bad things for others and the angel prays the same thing for us? I just shudder at that thought. I mean, I know I don’t want that.

Me at Lolo, Montana. June 20, 2018.

And somehow, I think if we want something good happen to us, then pray a lot of good things for others: family, friends, colleagues, even the strangers you only know in the internet or even that person you run into even once. Pray good for them. Why? Even if your good prayers for them aren’t granted, who knows that the angel’s prayers for you are granted. WE NEVER KNOW.

Well, again, I understand we cannot really control of who we will hate or love. But at least if you hate someone, please refrain from saying or praying bad things for them. And, ugh, I know I’m not that significant to be hated or to have haters, but just in case you hate me, pay no mind to me, I don’t want to hurt you. Why? Because I always try to be happy, and it’s gonna burn you. While I might deserve your hatred, you do not deserve any negative feelings resulting from seeing my happiness. You, too, deserve some peace and happiness. Do not rely your happiness on me – or somebody else.

You might wonder, “Don’t you have something or someone you hate?” Well, I don’t know. I might have, not that I’m sure of it. But for me, it’s not really about whether I hate something or not. It’s more about whether I like something, I am neutral about it, or I just don’t care. If I hate something or someone, I know I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to spend my precious time on them. It might be hard and it takes some practice, but I hope you can do it too.

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