IntroductionSelf-Reflection

A Bridal Makeup: Not a Wedding

Well, since I didn’t plan to show my face here, I choose to post this one instead. It’s me, though. But I don’t really like the crown/tiara, so I asked my friend to replace it with something else. Hhe

When I went back to my country, I came to visit a friend who was really good at make-up. Yes, I missed her, but I also wanted her to give me some makeup ‘cause I knew I’d never be able to do it myself. I suck at it, not to mention that I wasn’t patient enough to learn and spend a lot of time doing it on my face myself, no. So when she offered to give me some makeup, I agreed because that’s what I wanted. I guess I was kinda curious about how I’d look with a bridal/wedding makeup. Because seriously, at this point I am not sure if there’s someone who’ll marry me or if there’s anyone I want to marry (except my idols/favorite celebrities, of course. Haha)

Well, I then posted the pics on my Instagram, saying it’s bridal makeup. To be more precise, I wrote, “Bridal looks? A bridal makeup.” And that’s it. That’s just it. I then shared the post onto my Instagram story, and said, “Don’t interpret beyond what I said.” Because, really, I don’t want them to make assumptions about me. I want them to learn to read what I read carefully. Alas, I get many likes and comments, and many said congratulations. Not that I hated it, in fact, I loved it. Because usually, they wouldn’t bother liking or commenting on my post. So I guess they think it’s special? Maybe they thought I was getting married for real. Or perhaps, because I look beautiful with makeup? So, it’s really about beauty, then? They don’t like my other posts that are actually I treasure? But, oh, ok, I guess it’s none of it. It must be because it’s a “rare” post. I don’t usually do makeup, so they were kinda surprised. I don’t know which one is correct, I don’t want to assume, but anyway…

Well, when I was posting my pic with the bridal makeup. I knew some people would misunderstand and think it’s my wedding pic. I knew some of them really wanted me to get married, or wanted to see me getting married. I wasn’t offended at all. I understood perfectly well. I actually feel bad for causing any misunderstanding and any inconvenience 🙏🙇🏻‍♀️ (でも、私が結婚するのはそんなに見たいですか)But I don’t blame them. I know that the caption was ambiguous as well. I was not lying, though. Is it a bridal look? I don’t know. But I know it’s bridal makeup. I wasn’t saying I was getting married, though. やっぱり、I’m good at not revealing the truth without lying. I guess I just don’t want people to keep making assumptions about me.

But, oh, I truly feel sorry for making it difficult for them. I understand that it’s not easy. Like, for instance, if they just ignore it and don’t say congratulations, it would feel rude and mean, as if they didn’t care or didn’t share the happiness. Similarly, if they asked whether I did get married for real or if it’s just for pics, it would sound rude and mean as well ‘cause it’s as if they didn’t believe that I could finally get married as if thinking that I’d never be able to get married. Not nice, I get it. I get it. In no way I blame them. In fact, I’m thankful for all their congratulation messages. Well, let’s take it as a prayer 🙂

But, well, if there’s anything that disappointed me, it was the fact that some people didn’t actually ask me about the truth. Instead, they asked someone else, especially my sister, about whether or not I was getting married. I don’t blame them but somehow it makes me feel like I’m not worth talking to, or too scary to talk to. It’s like they actually don’t want to talk to me. I understand if, for example, they know my sister but do not actually know me. But if they actually know me in person? But, again, I don’t blame them for feeling that way about me. If they’re not comfortable asking me myself, then what can I do? Still, I’m thankful for those who have asked me directly to ask, confirm, and verify the truth 🙂

But why did I get a bridal makeup? Wanting to be a model? Well, why not? Haha Using a friend who’s good at makeup? Kinda 🙈😅✌️ No, I mean, again, I’m not good at makeup. And I am really curious how I’d look with such makeup. But again, it’s really not for me maybe? It’s so troublesome, even to remove it was difficult, めんどくさいな. But, well, with everything going on in this world and in my life, lately I’ve been thinking about death. I thought, “Well, in case I die without getting married, at least now they (and I) don’t have to wonder how I’d look with a bridal/wedding makeup.” If I were to die before I get married, at least I know how it feels to get a bridal/wedding makeup 😊 Especially for those who often rush me to get married just because they want to see me with bridal makeup, (in case there’s any), now they can stop 😉 But, ugh, my friend is really great. She made me look much more beautiful than I actually am. Many actually I look different or look like someone else(?), my friend said it must be because I’ve never really worn makeup before. But, anyway, I really felt beautiful, and I was thankful 🙏😊

Side profile?

Well, some people seemed upset thinking it’s my real wedding and I didn’t invite them. They said, “Why didn’t you let us know? Why didn’t you invite us?” Well, I have two serious questions for them: 1) Do they really want me to invite them when I get married for real later? 2) Will they really come if I do invite them later?

To be honest, I’ve never really dreamed of having a grand wedding in which many people attend. (No judging for those who do, it’s just a personal preference). I’m a lazy and kinda introverted girl, standing for too long in front of so many people will be too exhausting for me. So, well, if I can help it, I won’t have it. I guess it’ll be nicer to just have the two families and some close neighbors (by close, I mean “physical distance” wise). It’s not that I don’t have friends or don’t want to invite my friends or what. My friends are usually physically distanced or far, so I guess it’s ok if they don’t come, as long as I let them know, maybe later, and have some meal together? I guess that would be more meaningful? Besides, if I do invite them, I’ll be sad if they don’t come. I don’t want my invitation to be something like “It’s not nice if I don’t invite them” kind of invitation or “Just invite everyone” or “Well, we work at the same place” thing with such “That you met at that time” kind of reasons . I just want to keep it simple and meaningful, not only for me, but also for those attending. I remember I felt really sad for not being able to attend my friends’ wedding. One of them even provided a hotel for me. But at that time a lot of stuff happened and I just couldn’t go ‘cause the place was far.

But anyway, I guess it’s too early to talk about wedding or marriage🙈✌ But, ugh, seriously, I don’t plan to invite anyone when I get married later, so I hope nobody takes offense if somehow I get married but don’t invite them. Again, at this point, I’m not sure if there will be someone who wants to marry me or if there’s anyone I want to marry (except my idols), so maybe wish me luck? I don’t know. I guess getting someone to romantically for me is not my forte…

But, ugh, on a side but serious note, seeing how my friends react to my “wedding” pics even though I didn’t say I was getting married, and despite getting told to not interpret beyond what I say, I guess it’s no wonder that today’s media use clickbait pics and headlines to get more views. I guess they know exactly how people would react and they make the most use of it to get clicks and views. Except, unlike me, they won’t tell us to not interpret beyond what they write or display. They won’t explain or clarify as I did. The more we misunderstand and misinterpret it, the happier they are, because that’s exactly what they want. That way they can keep making the clickbait news with more drama. Hence, please, please peruse the news carefully before you react.

So I guess that’s the post for today. Do you think I’m too much? I’m sorry ☹

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